The problem with relationships is that they are the advanced placement class in life. You can have everything else on the ball and still not do well here because... well... it's damn hard. In this article series we've explored how the path to fixing your relationship and your life starts with the unlikely step of sending them on a one-way desert island plane crash. And how the first step to creating that disaster is through a tool called the secret identity project.
Now the secret identity project is part one and it addresses the most important, most-neglected piece of the puzzle: your real day to day life. But there is another big flank we need to keep an eye on. And that is your relationship. So, this is a two-pronged attack.
In this article, I will introduce you to the concepts involved in what to do when you are not working on your secret identity project. (And you are working on your secret identity project, right? Just checking.) I call this wing of the attack: the rules of engagement. And there are four parts.
1) Understanding why she won't engage right now.
2) Evaluating her level of engagement.
3) Giving her room and reason to become more engaged.
4) Knowing what to do with a fully-engaged woman.
Understanding why she won't engage right now
Most men have no idea what leads a woman to engage. Ordinary guys have nothing to invite her to. And no, I'm not talking dinner and a movie here. The idea here is to create a personalized adventure that is all about you harnessing what is unique and best about you and taking it out into the world to make a mark.
Evaluating her level of engagement
To create more engagement requires increased awareness and responsiveness to the different levels of engagement she interacts on. The levels are red, yellow and green. In a future article I'll show you how to identify each and how to respond.
Giving her room and reason to become more engaged.
Working on your secret identity project is just one way you can create more space in your relationship. It will also increase the mystery and suspense around it because you purposefully don't share everything about what you are doing. You'll limit your interactions with her in a way that makes her pay attention and want more.
Knowing what to do with a fully-engaged woman
This is the missing puzzle piece that will keep your woman engaged and your relationship roaring hot for decades. And this is nothing more complicated than a basic expansion of your personalized adventure you started with your very first secret identity project. As you do project after project, you will find a natural direction and theme growing out of them. You will start to gravitate toward bigger and bolder work. And you will find yourself wanting and more and more able to make a major difference in the world. And wanting someone to share it with.
That's the plan. The next articles will show you how.
Does she think she has you all figured out?
Treats you like you are old news?
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