There are a few stages of marriage that couples will go through. This will happen in different orders, different lengths of time, and some couples may even skip a stage. But this will allow you to see what stage you are in, and what you can do to get your marriage back on track, or keep it on track.
The first stage happens for pretty much everybody, it is the new love. It is filled with romance, passion and fire! Everything in this stage seems to flow fairly smoothly, as there is gift giving, lots of sexual activity and attention. The love is fairly strong and it will seem nothing can stand in your way. One of the things to watch out for in this stage is couples usually focus on the similarities and not even notice the differences. While it is important not to focus fully on the differences, you do need to realize however, what differences you do have, and make sure they are not as big, as in different life goals and values that will cause issues later on.
The next stage is commonly called “after the honeymoon”. This is because all that romantic passion seems to dwindle at this point. You start to notice the other person’s flaws, their habits that seem to annoy you more and you may think they have changed into a new person, or perhaps you have done something wrong for the end of an exciting, sex filled beginning period of your relationship.
Now you have come to the “I am right” stage. You put a mark on your territory, and so does your spouse. You may have silly little arguments that will lead to no where, any neither of you will back down. You may start to wonder where the love went, and who this new person is. Conflict seems to arise in different situations where it was easy going before. You need to be able to deal with this new conflict head on. Communication is key, it is so important at this stage and I can’t say it enough. You both need to deal with the conflict by listening to each other, seeing the other person’s point of view and finding a solution by working together.
Now you start to look back at your relationship. This stage you will wonder if this relationship will work, if your spouse is the right person and other questions like that. A lot of the affairs that take place happen during this stage because there seems to be some distance between the couple, and even within themselves. Space needs to be a respected during this time and again, talk to each other openly about your feelings. Be compassionate with each other to avoid any temptation to look else where for “support”.
It is time to realize what you both have been through and agree to continue to work it out and make this marriage work! This stage is called the “reconnection” stage and serves as an acceptance phase as well. You know each others faults, and their differences but now you accept them and make them work into the relationship.
After the “reconnection” stage you are committed. You both are back to a purely happy marriage and full commitment with each other. The love may not seem as passionate, but I feel it is stronger at the stage. I say this because after everything you both have been through, you stayed as a team, you both wanted the marriage to work, and it did! You now have a strong love that will work with you in the future.
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