Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Ways to Save a Marriage After A Cheating Spouse

Ways to Save a Marriage After Cheating
Although it can seem like a comedy on TV or a movie you’re watching, witnessing a wife throwing her husband’s clothes out the window once she’s learned of his other woman, while seemingly funny is anything but. Standing below, watching not only his clothes but his marriage being cast away, the husband must face both his neighbors, who have by this point gathered to see what the fuss is but also himself as he gathers his clothes in a huge bundle. He might have his clothes, but most of “him” remains upstairs: his wife, his kids, his books, his phone book, his computer, his toothbrush and his life. He can buy a new toothbrush, the other “things” are replaceable, however not without several overtime hours. His kids and his wife on the other hand are not. As he walks away, he begins muttering, “I am a jerk. Why did I do this? What’s wrong with me? I need help saving my marriage, but I am going to do it!”

As if talking to no one but himself, he scuttles away. A sock falls on the grass, a pair of his underwear – the pair his wife bought when she was feeling amorous – lands in the neighbor’s front yard and his best trousers get snagged on another neighbor’s fence. We’ve seen this scene played out many times and we laugh. But someone’s family was just ripped apart. Sure you can call him a bonehead! He is! Why is looking at other women, cheating or otherwise disrespecting his wife and marriage? What are this couple’s options? Sure divorce is one, but perhaps instead of throwing in the towel, there are ways to save a marriage even if a spouse has cheated. What? Saving a marriage after there’s been cheating? Yes indeed! It is possible to find ways to save a marriage following something as disruptive as cheating.
How to Save a Marriage After a Spouse Cheats
Unless a spouse is one of those “habitual cheaters,” you know the type – he can’t keep his trousers closed – sometimes cheating is an indication of a more deeply rooted problem. There are indeed ways to save a marriage following cheating, but clearly it is going to take work – on both spouses’ parts. One cannot just declare, “I am going to do anything, because saving my marriage is the most important thing.” Both parties better know they’re in for a long road ahead of them.
Oftentimes cheating, especially if it is with one person, vs. a string of faceless nobodies, is an indication that there is something inherently wrong in the marriage. No not the fault of the partner who was cheated on, as the cheating spouse can often allege. Does this sound like you?
Sometimes how to save a marriage requires you both to find that rough spot that you thought you passed through but in reality you didn’t. Maybe it was something big, maybe it was a series of things. Whatever it was, it gnawed at one or both of you and the result is that there was something unresolved. Oftentimes, looking for ways to save a marriage can result in finding that place you thought had been long gone. Chances are, the love was lost a bit ago because most people don’t just out of the blue cheat for no reason.
Do the Impossible
Although it seems like the easy way out to just walk away after a partner cheats, you really owe it to the marriage and to yourselves to look for ways to save a marriage. Nobody is perfect and maybe you can move past the hurt and find an even stronger marriage than you once had. The great thing about surviving cheating is that you can then tell others who are looking for ways to save a marriage, “hey, if I can be a success at saving my marriage after learning my spouse cheated, if you want to learn how to save a marriage following just about anything, I can help you!”

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