Will Talking About Your Problems Help Save Your Marriage?

 Talking about your problems may appear to be the most natural thing to do. I have heard many people suggesting that the best way a problem can be solved is by talking about it. The idea behind this belief is that when you speak out your problem, you are unconsciously analyzing the issues behind the problem and this will make you think and understand the issues better. Well, you can’t fault this logic.

But the problem with those who suggest that talking about your problems will help save your marriage is that they fail to be specific about how this talking is to be done. It is true that as long as you don’t talk about your problems, no one will know about them. If you have a problem with your spouse and if you just keep quiet about it, your spouse may not even be aware that you have a problem. Your spouse may be feeling comfortable with the relationship.
But what will happen if you talk about your problem? If your spouse was not aware of it all along, they will come to know of it and both of you together may find a solution. If your spouse is already aware of the problem, your bringing it out can make things easy for them to thrash it out. On the other hand, your spouse may become upset by your mentioning the problem. They may think that you are blowing something out of proportion. Or, they may be embarrassed about discussing it. What should you do now?
When you start talking about your problem and if your spouse response is not encouraging, what should you do? This is crucial aspect of the ‘talking about the problem’ process. The mistake many people are likely to do is to keep talking about it. Perseverance should pay, shouldn’t it?
Unfortunately, repeatedly talking about your problem may only alienate your spouse. If your spouse is not willing to listen to you, much less discuss the problem with you, then you should try to understand your spouse’s mind. What you have perceived as a problem may only be a symptom and the real issue may be something deeper. So, you need to try a different approach. Stop talking about the problem for a while and observe your spouse’s reaction. The immediate reaction will be one of relief.
However, the problem will not disappear by not mentioning it. So, try to look at the problem from different angles. Most importantly ask yourself whether your spouse is likely to perceive the problem in the same way as you do. If not, what will be their likely perception? Asking questions like this will broaden your perspective of the problem and you may even understand the mind of your spouse. Once you reach this stage, you will know how to talk about the problem and save your marriage.
Two things are important in life. Self development and maintaining good relationships. If you want to be happy and successful, you should focus on these two areas of personal success and harmonious relationships.

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